Indefinite.

"And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I'll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out"
-The Avett Brothers


There's a ticket stub that sits on my nightstand. It's been there for almost a month now (Yeah, I should clean, don't judge me). It says December 5, 2011- Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Boston Bruins. It was an ordinary loss, an ordinary December night. Normally, those ticket stubs eventually find their spot amongst candy wrappers and apple cores in whatever landfill Waste Management deems fit.

But I just can't throw this one away. I wish I could. But I always end up asking myself, "Did I see Sidney Crosby's last game?"

For the last 367 calendar days, words like "indefinitely", "symptoms", "no timetable"; have become as routine to Penguin fans as tying their shoes. They've almost lost all meaning. Penguins fans are suffering from a rare phenomenon: being expectation-less. I'm not talking about "Dick Tarnstrom is our leading scorer," expectation-less. It's more like the feeling that things will never be the same again. As if years like 2008-09 were just a fever dream. Living without expectation isn't saying that things can't get any worse, it's not seeing how they can possibly get any better.

And that's where we are today. The talk that ensued a month and a half ago about Crosby coming back and winning the scoring title feels distant and frankly, foolish. With all due respect to the current roster, Evgeni Malkin in particular, watching Pens games has become an exercise in "concussion-like symptoms" for Pens fans. Cheer as we may, there's a very numbing quality to watching these contests, as if our own vision is blurred, our memories fogged. When I think back to recent games, I often have trouble even remembering things that happened, as if they had existed only in the abstract.

In such uncertain situations, it remains very difficult to garner any sort of perspective. In six months, we could look back at this time and think how crazy we were for thinking it was even in the realm of possibility for Sidney Crosby not to suit up again. Or we could (frightfully) look back and wonder how we could have ever been so optimistic. The only thing I know is that (and I hope I speak for all Pens fans when I say this) I'd rather see Sidney Crosby retire at 24 than not be able to recognize his family at 40. The former would be heartbreaking, but the latter would be tragic.

The lack of updates are unsettling, yet familiar. The news that leaks out is vague at best. We don't know where Sid is, or really how he is, only that his symptoms aren't as "aggressive" as a year ago. Though we've seen this song and dance before (Remember when they called it a "mild" concussion last year?), so we've learned to take words like this with a grain of salt. Any good news that we'll hear in the future about Sid will be met with a nervous optimism, not an unbridled one.

But at this point, most of us will take whatever we can get.

So how will this all end?

Our hope is that one day Crosby will awake to find his own personal clouds lifted. That he can do what he loves the same way he used to, and we can understand again what a privilege it is to watch him do it. My own hope is that I can wake up and finally have that ticket stub meet the same fate as the others, casting away with it my own personal fears and doubts. But that hope, like all else at this time, remains indefinite.

2011: A Cursed Year in Pittsburgh Sports

Call it what you will. 2011 has been an extraordinarily painful time to be a fan in Pittsburgh. Shall we start at the beginning?

It's December of 2010, and we are drunk with happiness. The Penguins hadn't lost a game in a month and the Steelers were unexpectedly rolling towards a playoff berth after a tumultuous offseason. HBO was in town filming 24/7 in preparation for the Winter Classic. It was pretty much sunshine and kittens at that point.

And then the ball dropped.


Go to hell, Times Square.


Jan 1, 2011:

On National Hangover Day, the Penguins played host to the Crapitals at Heinz Field in the Winter Classic. The atmosphere was incredible and the stage was set for a hallowed chapter in Penguins history. Little did we know.





I'm normally not one for drama or superfluous adjectives, but this is a seminal moment in Penguins history. This hit, coupled with Victor Hedman's less vicious shot several days later, left Crosby on the sidelines for the rest of the season. Yes, Crosby has skated with teammates, run through some drills and flashed his omnipresent smile. But the fact remains that since the Hedman hit, nobody has laid a hand on him. The Penguins have been all but mum on Crosby developments. The smart money says Crosby will get healthy and back to normal over this extended summer, but it's not something that's given at this point. Penguins fans may have to face the fact that Crosby may not be the same. Is it likely? No. But it's certainly not impossible.

Oh yeah, the Pens lost the game too.


February 4th, 2011:



In a 3-2 comeback win over Buffalo, the Pens suffered another freak accident when Andre the Giant...I mean, Tyler Myers fell awkwardly on Evgeni Malkin's knee, tearing his ACL. Even then, we really had no idea how long the Penguins would have to go without the services of both Crosby and Malkin. This is the point where the Crosby Watch truly gained steam.


February 6th, 2011:



Watching the Steelers lose Super Bowl XLV was like getting head-butted in the balls by Zinedine Zidane. The Steelers were outplayed and outcoached from the start. Hell, the Packers lost half their secondary in that game and still beat us. Truly, it wasn't as close as the score would indicate. No excuses on this one. Green Bay deserved that win.


February 11th, 2011:



If I were Dan Bylsma, I would have shown the team this video before Game 7. This was nothing but childish retaliation for the Brent Johnson/Rick Dipietro fight the week prior (which is really the best thing to happen sports-wise this year). Just despicable the whole way around. Trevor Gillies turned into a household name, and were it not for Max Talbot's keen eye, Matt Martin would have been just as vilified. This wasn't a hockey game, it was a street fight. Hands down the low of the entire season in the NHL.


March 19, 2011



In one of the most bizarre endings in tournament history, #1 seed Pitt was ousted by #8 Butler. With slightly over two seconds left, and Pitt up 69-68, Butler's Andrew Smith made an easy layup off a great pass from Shawn Vanzant. Game over, right? Wrong. In a completely mindless play, Butler's Shelvin Mack dogged Gilbert Brown around midcourt, eventually fouling Brown with 1.4 seconds left. Butler's fanbase collectively poop themselves. Brown makes the first free throw (after some back and forth chat with Mack), tying the game at 70 all. The next sequence would etch itself into Pitt's ignominious basketball history.

Brown shoots. Off the rim.
Butler's Matt Howard rebounds
Nasir Robinson's left arm.
Howard sinks a free throw to win.

I'm one of the few Pittsburghers who will defend Robinson here. First of all, it's a high pressure situation, and Robinson wants to win the game. He wanted that rebound badly. His crime was one of passion, and while it's staggering, it is defensible. Robinson took the blame after the loss, but it certainly wasn't deserved. Pitt squandered opportunities all game long. Regardless, it stands as one of the most painful losses in the program's history.


April 2011:



This Bolts-Pens series was just so tough to swallow. A week prior to the Game 7 loss, the Pens were flying high after James Neal's Double OT winner to put the Pens up 3-1 in the series. Most thought the Lightning would fold, and the Pens would be 2nd round bound. Not so fast. Tampa's third line (including new enemy Sean Bergenheim) took over the series, and Dwayne Roloson did what he had to do.

The whole thing culminated in one last flurry of action in Game 7s waning seconds. The season died where it was born; the choppy ice of Consol Energy Center, surrounded by a winded but hopeful Pens faithful, anxious for another day.


So where is this all leading? One would ask (and rightfully so) if things could get any worse. That question is always dangerous because the answer will always be yes.

But we're Pittsburgh; we face the present with steely resolve, and the future with cautious optimism.

Because really, could things get any worse?

Game 6. Malkin before Crosby?

Rob Rossi is stirring the pot over at the Trib.

Major league issue with Rossi's article. He tells me not to believe anything that anyone says about Malkin or Crosby, then proceeds to espouse a rumor about Malkin and Crosby. Classic Rossi. Though if he's right about Malkin possibly coming back for the ECF, holy potatoes. I always thought Malkin was tougher than people give him credit for, but possibly coming back this year after Tyler Myers sat on his knee? Tough shit, right there.



(Side note: If you try to run a Google Image search for Rob Rossi, you're going to see penises. You've been warned.)

Pens are down in Tampa for Game 6. If they aren't pissed off, they aren't breathing. The whole state of Florida sucks.



Here are a few things the Pens need to do to win:

1. Get on the board early.

The Pens should come out jumping. Nobody likes to lose 8-2 at home. If they can rattle Roloson early and take all 47 Tampa fans in attendance out of the game, it could be a blowout.


2. Reinvigorate the D

Frankly, I'm hesitant to be critical of the Pens D-men. They're perhaps the biggest reason we're even in this position, and Orpik and Letang played almost 40 minutes in Game 4. But man, they weren't even there on Saturday. Michalek may have had his worst game as a Pen, and Orpik looked winded. The D has to set the tone of this game.


3. Crash the Net

Everyone has made a big screaming deal about how much Dwayne Roloson sucks at handling pucks. So make him do it. If you crash the net on Roloson, one of two things is going to happen: he's either going to give up rebounds that can be easily stuffed home, or he'll corral the puck and force an offensive zone faceoff. Given the Pens depth of good faceoff guys, coupled with defenseman who can shoot from the point, it's a recipe for goals.


4. Rebound game for Fleury.

This is going to happen. I have zero doubt.



Wild Card:

The third line.

Quietly, the line of Chris Conner, Pascal Dupuis and Max Talbot have been pesky and effective. I look for one of these three to come up with a big goal when the time comes.

Let's go Pens.

Tax Day Update.

Pay your taxes, slackers. Yeah, even you, Wesley Snipes.

Pens lost 5-1 on Friday night. Big deal. Nobody goes 16-0 in the playoffs. Fleury had a rough outing, but he's approximately 100000-0 in rebound games, so I'm sure he'll be fine. The game actually wasn't as lopsided as the score would indicate. Outside of the first half of the first period, the Pens played a decent game.


The fourth line pretty much deserve Purple Hearts at this point in the series.

Cassie Campbell from CBC posted a speculative tweet saying that she thought Crosby was missing practice because he was at the doctor's and may be cleared to play. She's cool, don't know why she just started making stuff up, but whatever. I wasn't paying attention, and it ended up being a crap report (probably).

Per Rob Rossi, Crosby hasn't skated since Friday. Can't be good news there. He's in Tampa though, so Coach Crosby will probably be donning the headset again.


The Pirates are still playing baseball. It's now the opposite of last year: they suck balls at home, but keep winning road series. Impressive stuff on the road if they can keep it up.


We'll end with some love to the Pittsburgh Power, who are coming up with some respectable performances in their inaugural season.

First Round Preview: Pens vs. Bolts

This is going to be the most awkward playoff series ever. First of all, it's Tampa Bay. They usually get about 30 fans for their regular season games, but considering its the playoffs, they may get up to 40. Wherever the hell they play hockey (apparently it's named for some newspaper that nobody reads because it's 2011) is going to be ripe with Penguins fans.

Truly, it's a shame that nobody comes out to support this Tampa Bay team. Their offensive firepower is nothing to scoff at. Even beyond the obvious stars like Steven Stamkos, Martin St. Louis, Vincent Lecavalier and Simon Gagne, the Lightning have plenty of 3rd and 4th liners that can put the puck in the net (Former Penguins Ryan Malone and Dominic Moore, along with unsung guys like Teddy Purcell and Sean Bergenheim). Their defensemen? Eh, not so intimidating. The Penguins danced laps around touted youngster Victor Hedman. With the exception of Brett Clark, they are a bevy of no-names.


Then we get to what has always been the Lightning's achilles heel: goaltending. The Lightning have given up 6 or more goals TEN times this season. The Penguins, to compare, have done it only twice. That means, playing the odds, that one of these games the Penguins will put up a six-spot. Now admittedly, the Bolts have been far better since Dwayne Roloson took the helm between the pipes. The Penguins have seen both sides of Dwayne Roloson: the guy who seems completely lost (the Pens chased him after giving up 5 goals on 23 shots), and the guy who can steal games in between cashing his Social Security checks. Without a doubt, Roloson is the story of this series. The only way Tampa Bay can win is if Roloson outplays Fleury. Teams without consistent goaltending get lit up in the playoffs (See: 2009-10 Washington Capitals).



Beyond the awkwardness of playing the Lightning in the playoffs (which still just feels weird), playing a playoff series without Crosby and Malkin really wasn't part of our plan for this year. Although we adapted very well during the regular season without the duo, the playoffs are always another beast entirely. The job that Bylsma, Fleury and our makeshift lines and defensive pairings have done is beyond admirable. But how far can it conceivably take us? The answer probably lies somewhere in between heart and momentum. We know that the heart is there. We see it every time they take the ice. The momentum may be there as well. The Penguins are 12-4 since that craptastic overtime loss against the Devils on March 4th. If the Penguins can continue to muster the same resolve during these playoffs, they'll be an extremely difficult team to eliminate.


Final prediction: Pens in six.


Series MVP: Marc-Andre Fleury. It's almost crazy to think it could be anyone else.


Tampa Bay MVP: Martin St. Louis. Again, it's ridiculous to think it could be anyone else. He's probably the least intimidating person in the world until he takes the ice.


Unsung Hero: Mark Letestu. He's only played in 64 games this season, but he's proved that he can be a force when healthy. Like most of this team, he plays with a lot of energy and guts, and he couples that play with a great goal-scoring touch. I wouldn't be surprised at all to see Letestu put 2-3 pucks behind Dwayne Roloson, and to do so at a big moment.


Let's go Pens.

Sir Sidney Looks to Join the Knights of the Roundtable

Crosby is back at practice (not just shooting pucks), and will be traveling with the team down to Florida. My guess is that he watched the game last night, and it was too much for him to bear.

Look the eff out, Eastern Conference. Could we see him in New Jersey next Tuesday? Who knows. We'd better start every enforcer we have if he plays against the Isles.

Holy balls, folks.

Game of the Year

When you don't play your rival for 3 months, it's easy to forget how much you hate them. That's how I felt going into last week's Pens-Flyers matchup. It took about 0.2 seconds for me to remember the depth of my loathing for the Philadelphia Flyers. In my hate scale, the Flyers rank somewhere between ex-girlfriends and Glenn Beck.



It's a scary thing when a former drug addicted alcoholic high-school grad is one of the most powerful men in America. He'd probably say hockey is a tool of the Communists used to put Marxist thought into the minds of the impressionable masses.

Anyway, I digress.

The Flyers will likely be without defenseman Chris Pronger. But Pronger is overrated anyways, so who gives a crap. Side note: I once had a Flyers fan try to argue that Chris Pronger was as good a defenseman as Nicklas Lidstrom. No joke.

Rumors are abound that Crosby is close to making a return to practice. I'm not sure we even need him to be a contender. Though it definitely wouldn't hurt.

There was one thing that I wanted to address. The Marc-Andre Fleury for MVP talk.



I should preface this by saying that I absolutely love Fleury. There's no one else that I'd rather have manning the net for my beloved Pens. His puck handling and rebound control have improved by leaps and bounds this year. And anyone who says that he's not a clutch goalie must not watch Pens games. There is no doubt that he's the team MVP this year (which he was voted as by the team).

But should he win the Hart? Probably not.

First off, the last goalie to win the Hart was Jose Theodore in 01-02. Theodore lead the league in save percentage that year, and was fourth in goals against average. Fleury doesn't rank in the top 5 in either of those categories (8th and 11th, respectively). In the entire history of the award, it has only been won by a goaltender 7 times, and only three times since 1962. So in essence, in order to win the Hart as a goaltender, you have to be SIGNIFICANTLY better than any other netminder in the league. This year, one could easily make a legitimate case for Roberto Luongo, Tim Thomas, Pekka Rinne and Henrik Lundqvist (who has nearly four times as many shutouts as Fleury) for MVP as well.

Like I've said, I'm not discounting Fleury's importance to this team. Without him, we're probably struggling for a playoff spot. But if you take guys like Luongo and Lundqvist off their teams, they're in the same position as well. To me, this season has firmly entrenched Fleury as an elite NHL goaltender. But hopes of a Hart are probably unrealistic.

But I must say, if by some infinitesimal chance, Fleury does win; I will gladly eat my words.

He should at least get save of the year for this. Pretty much took whatever was left of Mike Green's manhood (riding a Vespa and having a flower tattoo eliminates 85% of his man cards) on this stop. Awesome stuff. Gotta love Green's reaction. It looks like he got shot.



Let's go Pens.

Making a Run for it.

Yeah, I don't know how the Pens are four points out either.

The Pens deserved this win in regulation, no doubt. But two points are two points, and now the Pens are one win and one Carolina loss away from a playoff spot. Outside of pure guts and determination, I don't have an explanation for how the Penguins keep fighting...and winning. Games like this really make you think that we can make a run at the Cup even without Crosby/Malkin.

The Flyers came out for the first five minutes and dictated the play, possessing the puck for long periods in the Pens end. Then every Flyer but Bobrovsky went home. Every loose puck, the Pens were there. The score doesn't do the game justice. It wasn't even close.


Some notes:

-Dustin Jeffrey was injured in the second. Looked eerily like Malkin's torn ACL, but no word on exactly how bad it is yet. Nobody's overly optimistic.

-What a rebound game for Kris Letang. He looked more like his old self.

-There is no way that Ben Lovejoy gets bumped from the D rotation once Brooks Orpik returns. No way.

-Mike Comrie is back in the lineup tonight. Nobody cares.

-Sidney Crosby is out destroying beverage containers.


Jesus, that's a backhander that did that. The scene in Scanners where the dude's head blew up was less impressive than that shot.


Underrated movie.


Holy hell, the Pirates start playing next week. Here's a great article on ESPN about Buccos skipper Clint Hurdle.

Peace.

Rumors of My Demise have been Greatly Exaggerated

"Lovely to see you again, my friend,
Walk along with me to the next bend.
Dark cloud of fear is blowing away,
Now that you're hear, you're going to stay
Cause it's lovely to see you again"
-Lovely to See You- Moody Blues


After the initial erection from receiving that text from 32-623 that Crosby was back on the ice had subsided, and after hearing from Sid himself, it's important to put his return to the ice in context.


1. If we see him at all, it's still going to be a while.

Let's face it, if we were in Crosby's situation: concussed, out of work and bored, Tim Horton's donuts would look pretty good (they do anyways). He's nowhere close to being in game shape. This is just the first of many trial runs. But admittedly, it feels good just to finally see him make that first step.

That being said, we shouldn't just assume that we'll see Crosby for the end of the regular season/playoffs. Like he stated, he could feel fine right now, but wake up tomorrow morning and be back to square one. This is going to be a gradual and often frustrating process for Sid and for Pens fans, so it would behoove us to have a bit of patience.


2. aoimwefhiopahwfjkl

If you didn't do a Pensblog-worthy home key smash when you heard this news, you aren't a true fan.


3. There are more important things than a 2010-11 playoff run.

I have faith that Crosby and the Penguins are being careful with this issue. Nobody wants to sacrifice Crosby's long-term health just for a Cup run. He's 23, and has his best hockey ahead of him. There's simply no use in jeopardizing that.

And beyond even that, he's going to have a life after hockey. He shouldn't have to spend that life tormented by the repercussions of this injury. We've already seen this in the NFL, and Crosby shouldn't have to fight the same demons as many former players have had to.


4. Number four is just to emphasize how awesome it is to see him lace up skates again. That deserves its own bulletpoint.


5. To all those people who said he was retiring, just shut up for a while. Do us all a favor.


Today was a good day, and the Crosby saga will continue, but hopefully we're now looking towards a happier ending.

It's Good To See You Again

Sidney Crosby took the ice for about 15 minutes this morning. I wondered why my phone started going schizo.

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Please excuse me while I go scrape the poop out of my pants.

More on this when I'm not at work.

Dan Bylsma should win Coach of the Millenium

If you disagree, Mr. Bylsma would like to have a word with you.


When Dan Bylsma took over the tenth-place Penguins in 2009 and lead them to a Stanley Cup Championship, fans coined the phrase "Byls-magic" to describe the teams tremendous turnaround.

That was completely retarded. There's nothing particularly "magical" about winning a Stanley Cup when you have players the likes of Crosby, Malkin and Fleury along with supporting cast members like Orpik, Gonchar, Staal, Kunitz, et al. Superstars that play in a system that maximizes their talent usually end up winning a few of these things.

The fact that Bylsma has this Penguin team, who have played long stretches this season without Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Chris Kunitz, Brooks Orpik, Mike Comrie, Arron Asham, Mark Letestu, Eric Godard, etc; two points back of the Flyers for first place in the division and first in the East: THAT'S magical.

One can point to the 1302477093 straight games that the Penguins won in November-December as the main reason for the Penguins being in the position they are now, and it's a pretty decent argument. However, the fact that the Penguins have a winning record without Crosby and Malkin (and were it not for a couple of overtime heartbreaks, that record would be even better) proves that Bylsma's system, as a whole, works. He's got his players believing that they can win no matter who is missing from the lineup. Once Crosby and Malkin went down, this team could have packed up and called it a season, and no one would have blamed them. Hell, a lot of people expected it.

Yet here we are. 260 plus man games lost later (and Crosby's should count double). Not only are we still in the picture, we're fielding a team that others don't want to meet in a seven game series.

Lead by Bylsma, this bunch of fill-ins, cast-offs and nobodies (key cogs like Mark Letestu and Chris Connor weren't even drafted, and 22 defensemen were taken ahead of Norris candidate Kris Letang) have recaptured the hearts of Penguin fans by exemplifying what Pittsburghers pride themselves on: fighting through adversity with guts and determination, only to come out stronger on the other side. Is this Penguin team as fun to watch as they were in November? No. But are they more relatable? No doubt. Who didn't feel an immense satisfaction when Dustin Jeffrey, who has been back and forth from Wilkes-Barre so often this year that Ray Shero has his name on speed dial, smoked the Bruins in overtime? Who didn't throw a Jersey Shore fist-pump when Tyler Kennedy buried the Avalanche with an OT goal of his own?

This team can do damage in the playoffs for one reason: they want it more than other teams. In a season unlike any in recent memory, Coach B has instilled an insatiable hunger in the belly of this team.

And I certainly wouldn't want to be on the menu.

The NHL's War Within

Prior to Islanders "enforcer" Trevor Gillies' meeting with the NHL's top disciplinarian (and former Penguin) Colin Campbell, it is necessary to re-evaluate the way that head injuries are addressed.

Since David Steckel threw the "shoulder heard 'round the world" into the side of Sidney Crosby's head, the issue of head shots and concussions have been thrust back into the forefront. Recent events involving Gillies, along with the recent results of the brain analysis on the late Bob Probert have only added fuel to the fire.

The NHL has a problem. Much like the one the faced this past year. And they can learn from each other. To call the way the NFL handled the issue of unnecessary head shots a miserable failure would be an insult to miserable failure. The early season rule changes greatly confused players, officials, coaches and eventually, the rule-makers themselves (who, in many cases, reduced the fines they had previously set).

The punishment that will be handed down to Gillies today will serve as a crossroads for the NHL on this issue. If they come down too lenient (less than six games), they will be seen as continuing to ignore the elephant in the room. If they make an example of Gillies, by say, suspending him for the remainder of the season, they will be chastised for arbitrarily changing the nature of the game itself. Hockey has always been a brutal sport, and has often embraced players like Gillies, the tough guy that always has the back of his teammates.

So where can the NHL draw the line? Repeat offenders? Intent to injure?

The fact is this: no matter what the NHL does today, it cannot save it from itself. Hockey will never be a concussion-free sport. The unfortunate circumstances that fell Sidney Crosby WILL happen again. Whether it be from a hired goon like Trevor Gillies or a gritty (but clean), blue-collar player like Dave Steckel. It simply cannot be stopped. We can do something about deliberate head shots like Gillies, but those are only a small fraction of the problem. Most of the concussions in the NHL come from hits like Steckel's; incidental contact at high speeds and in blind spots.

This war being waged within the circles of the NHL can have no winners. The true issue is not violence in the NHL, it's the violence of the NHL. If anything, the NHL needs to have more of a vested interest in technology that can minimize concussions (just ask the scientists who have been working on new NFL helmets), rather than worrying about whether or not to render judgement on every play where somebody is injured, which is exactly what the NFL did this past season.

The Gillies' incidents shouldn't be seen as an opportunity to make an example, it should be seen as an opportunity to have a closer look at preventative measures that can be taken in the future. Then, and only then, can the NHL truly address this issue.

Just ask Sidney Crosby about it.


Update: Gillies given a 10 game suspension. Seems appropriate to me.

Pens Lose, Trevor Gillies' Mustache Strikes Again

If Trevor Gillies played on a team that didn't completely suck, he would be by far and away the most hated man in the NHL. Of course, Gillies wouldn't play on a team that didn't suck, because he contributes nothing but goonism. At least Matt Cooke has talent. Here's a video of Gillies' latest gem:



The hit itself is nearly a carbon copy of the Gillies hit that felled Eric Tangradi, only sans the fight and subsequent taunting.



The NHL should render its decision today. Gillies, although 32 years old, has only appeared in 15 NHL games. This leaves the possibility that if Colin Campbell comes down hard on Gillies, he may actually be suspended for more NHL games than he's appeared in. Ridiculous.



The Pens dropped another overtime game last night, falling to the Maple Leafs 3-2. Tough loss considering that Pens dominated the majority of the game. Big game from Matt Niskanen though, he's looking very comfortable within Bylsma's system. The return of Paul Martin and Tyler Kennedy provided a much needed boost, particularly Martin, who at times looked like the best player on the ice.



Apparently, Crosby is still battling symptoms from his January concussion. At this point, it's becoming more and more difficult to envision a 2011 return for Sid. The Penguins clearly know which side their bread is buttered on, and are unwilling to risk the long-term health of their biggest star for a Stanley Cup run this year. By all accounts, the Penguins have approached this situation with genuine concern and thought for Crosby's well-being. That should come as a shock to absolutely no one.

The Pens will finish out this 5 game road trip with big games against New Jersey and Boston. Boston is of course, leading the Northeast division and the Devils are playing like their balls are on fire (they've had a grand total of 2 regulation losses since January 9).

We should thank all major and minor deities if the Penguins can even pull 2 points out of the next two games.

Injurious Bastards

The long list of Penguins injury updates:

-Tonight marks the return of Tyler Kennedy and Paul Martin. One of them will probably be re-injured within a week.



- Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin went to the Lady GaGa concert on Saturday. Twitter goes apeshit with people talking about how Lady GaGa uses a buttload of strobe lights and Crosby wouldn't go if he still had concussion-like symptoms. Totally miss an opportunity to make fun of the fact that Crosby and Malkin were at a Lady GaGa show.



- Chris Kunitz's moustache is set to make its debut sometime this weekend.

- Eric Tangradi is somewhere getting taunted by Trevor Gilles.

- Mike Comrie sucks.

- Arron Asham got really into the 60s, and no one ever saw him again.

- Brent Johnson is still day-to-day with lower body injuries that he sustained fighting with a drunken black bear.

- Brooks Orpik is hanging out at home and watching the YouTube video of his ridiculous SCF shift back in 2008.




To get you pumped up for April 8.

From Zero to Shero: Ray's New Look Penguins

In the five years since the Penguins unceremoniously broke ties with long time GM Craig Patrick, Ray Shero has become a nearly cult-like figure in Pittsburgh. A quick Google images search will provide photoshops depicting Ray's badass-ness. He's basically become the most trusted figure in the city since Mr. Rogers.


Fred Rogers donning his pimpin' shoes.

Shero's cavalier attitude, coupled with his talent-spotting abilities (which must be a genetic trait) have rocketed him to beloved status. Even the trainwreck that was the Alexei Ponikarovsky acquisition last year, support for Shero hasn't waned.

But it is without question that 2011 will be the most difficult year for Ray-Ray.



The casualty list in Pittsburgh makes All-Star teams look as if they lack depth. The injuries to Crosby and Malkin only begin to scratch the surface. Somehow, behind the clearly superhuman leadership of Dan Bylsma, the Penguins have retained their grip on fourth in the Eastern Conference. The team's resilience has put Shero in an intriguing spot. When you have the second most points in the conference, no matter the injuries, packing up before the playoffs is not an option. So what does Shero do? Trades the most expendable player at the most expendable position on the team for something the Pens have desperately needed since the departure of a player to be mentioned later in this post (it's not Hossa, he can suck it): a talented, goal scoring winger, and clearly the next spokesperson for Crest Whitening Strips, James Neal.


Dude has albino teeth. Crazy.

Not only did Shero address a need by trading a talented defenseman who is prone to mental lapses, he somehow got Dallas to throw in THEIR talented defensemen who is prone to mental lapses, Matt Niskanen. There's nothing funny about him, except that he's from a state within a state (Virginia, Minnesota).

Both Neal and Niskanen will be Pens through 2011-12, and given their young age (23 and 24, respectively), they are decidedly not "rentals". Neal could be the finisher that Crosby has never had, and Niskanen might not suck.

And then yesterday, Shero did what everyone in Pittsburgh wanted him to. He pretty much traded a hockey stick an a Tim Horton's donut for someone the organization is a bit familiar with.



Kova-love.

Terrible Omen of the Millenium: As I was trying to post this video, Safari completely crashed and took me about 20 minutes to fix. Shit.

The scary part of all of Shero's dealing?

We still have days until the deadline. Hold on tight.


Edit: TSN's Darren Dreger just released a report in regards to the possibility of Crosby sitting the remainder of the season. Looking more and more likely.

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/dregerreport

The Stars are Falling.

Moving on to the Pens today, whom I’ve done a tremendous job of ignoring. Look for a Steelers season recap sometime this week.

We’ve just about gotten used to watching Pens games without Malkin and Crosby. It’s basically like watching the 2009-10 New Jersey Devils, only less douchier. Somehow, we’ve not only managed to stay afloat, but have navigated these rough seas to a solid January-February record (minus the last two games). However, the Pens undoubtedly face some major problems

Issue #1:



Rumors have been flying around about the status of Crosby. Ask one person and they’ll say that Crosby is seeing stars when he practices, others say he was beaten by baboons outside of Mike Rupp’s Super Bowl party. The line between fact and fiction is opaque at best.

What we do know is this; we likely won’t see Crosby until March, or if Crosby’s injury is as apocalyptic as some are claiming, he’ll be put on season-ending IR prior to the trade deadline (March 1st). In order to have any shot at a deep playoff run, the Penguins need Crosby at 100%. That’s the reason that I don’t fully buy into the severity of these claims. Penguins brass are not stupid. Unless the team were to go into a nuclear tailspin in the next month, it’s smarter to shelf Crosby for the time being.

All that being said, it’s hard to look at what happened to Marc Savard after Matt Cooke’s hit. He’ll never be the same.


Issue #2:

Can the Penguins win the Cup without Evgeni Malkin?



Weird.

Before you point to his numbers for the past two seasons, remember, he’s a Conn Smythe winner. He’s no joke. Even when he’s not at the top of his game, he’s at least taking up one of the opposition’s top defensive pairings. Especially given the improvement in Malkin’s defensive play, his production is nearly impossible to replace.


It’s a scary, yet interesting time to be a Pens fan.


Late News: Matt Cooke suspended 4 games for raping Fedor Tyutin (still the best name in hockey). Should be fun to see what kind of depleted lineup we can field tomorrow night against the Kings. No word on whether or not Cooke will get an extra two games for bitchslapping Tyutin with his Stanley Cup Ring.



Bah.

NHL Awards Ceremony; The Most Epic Picture in Blog History

If you haven’t been paying attention to the John Isner/Nikolas Mahut match at Wimbledon, shame on you. The two resume play today for the THIRD day, attempting to break their 5th set tie, at 59-59. That’s not a typo. The match has gone on for 10 hours. Just the fifth set alone hast taken over 7 hours, which ALONE would make it the longest match in history. Really an unbelievable performance by these two.

Ben Roethlisberger made a surprise visit to his kids camp yesterday. No word on whether or not any of the kids had a chance bathroom encounter with him.

The NHL Awards Ceremony took place in Las Vegas last night. The only Penguin hardware went to Captain Crosby, who took home the Mark Messier NHL Leadership Award.


I swear to all major and minor deities that this picture is NOT photoshopped. Not sure what's going on, but it's incredible.

Jordan Staal, as predicted, lost out on the Selke Award to Pavel Datsyuk of the Detroit Red Wings. Not truly a surprise, first time nominees seldom are awarded the Selke. The smart money says Staal won’t retire without a few of those on his mantle.

Crosby lost out on both the Lindsay Award and Hart Trophy (MVP). Alex Ovechkin walked away with the Lindsay, while Henrik Sedin of Vancouver won the Hart, with Crosby finishing third in the voting. Who cares? Couldn’t find Ovechkin or Sedin’s name on the Stanley Cup, so whatever.



Still no word on Gonchar’s potential departure.

The Pirates got crushed by the Texas Rangers last night. Bob Nutting and his cronies still won’t open their wallets, so it’s not like we should expect anything different.

The US will play Ghana in their second round matchup. 95% of the US didn’t even realize Ghana was a country.

Enjoy this wonderful Thursday while watching part 4 of the Pittsburgh Sports-gasm:

Late June: Where Sports Go to Die

In what can only be described as a tournament in which almost nobody deserved to win, Graeme McDowell became the first Northern Irishman to win the U.S. Open, besting the ultimate underdog, Gregory Havret by one stroke. McDowell held the lead for most of the final round, as 54 hole leader Dustin Johnson collapsed early, going 6 over through his first 4 holes. Three of the big guns were lurking all day: Els, Woods and Mickelson, but none could match the poise and consistency shown by McDowell. Hard not to root for the guy, he has become one of the most well-liked golfers on the PGA Tour with his calm demeanor and wonderful Irish sense of humor. Congrats to the new U.S. Open champ.

In unrelated news, Guinness sales rocketed up 113% yesterday.



The Pirates started something called a “winning streak” this weekend, taking two of three from the lowly Cleveland Indians. The one sport Cleveland should be able to beat Pittsburgh at, and they still can’t. God, they suck. Pedro Alvarez’s struggles continued, going 0 for 3 with an RBI. He clearly feels as if there is a lot of pressure on him, and there is. But, everything in due time. Pedro is as talented as they come, and he’ll eventually start hitting.



The NHL draft begins on Friday at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. The Penguins will draft players, I will talk about them.

Welcome to late June, the sports coma of the year. Nothing much happens.

Stay tuned this week or early next week, as I will be writing a 2010 fantasy football preview.

This week will also be the week of the Pittsburgh sports-gasm, so every post will end with an awesome moment in Pittsburgh sports history.

Is there a better way to start a Monday than with this? Nope.

What will 2010-11 Bring to the Pittsburgh Penguins- 5 Predictions

It’s been just over a month since the Penguins were ousted from the Stanley Cup Playoffs in a truly painful game 7 against Montreal. If you haven’t had nightmares about that game by now, you might be dead.



That loss has sent us spiraling into the summer of uncertainty. The Penguins could look substantially different come October, thanks to the glory of the salary cap era. So while it’s the offseason and the Pirates are getting torched by Stephen Strasburg (kid has nastier stuff than a back alley whore), I thought it may be fun to take a few guesses as to what the 2010-11 Penguins opener will hold.

1. No Sergei Gonchar

This is a pretty easy one. Gonchar still thinks he has a multi-year deal left, we all know he doesn’t. Shero showed where his priorities lay when he re-signed Letang. Especially now that there has been an expensive precedent set for this offseason on defensemen (thanks, Dennis Seidenburg). His rifle from the point will be sorely missed, and one would have to believe that Letang and Goligoski will struggle to replace what Gonchar brought to the table, particularly in the first part of the season.

2. Number 1 being said, the Penguins will have a new winger on Sid’s line.



Will we have a welcome back party for Colby Armstrong? It’s not out of the realm of possibility. Sid will definitely push for the return of his old best friend. This spot could also be wide open for a guy like Lee Stempniak or Tomas Plekanec. All three of these guys would have cap hits between $2.5-$4M, which would easily be covered once Gonchar was gone. Come on, who from Pittsburgh wouldn’t LOVE to pull that dusty Colby Armstrong jersey out of the closet?

3. No Eric Tangradi….Yet.

Tangradi will absolutely be up for significant time next year, just not in October. The Pens will likely fill the bottom lines with guys like Nick Johnson, Mark Letestu and Dustin Jeffrey. But it won’t take long before Tangradi will just be too beastly for the Baby Pens. Those who have been looking for a Ryan Malone replacement, let me introduce you to Big Dog Tangradi.



4. Unfortunately, no Anton Volchenkov.

Just can’t see it happening at this point. If the Pens can somehow, someway come up with a deal to sign Volchenkov at a reasonable price, I will turn tricks outside of Consol Energy Center just to get tickets.

5. Matt Cooke will beat the bejesus out of somebody



Cooke will celebrate his new 2 year contract by punching the first person who steps in the crease in front of Fleury. Everyone will still love him in Pittsburgh, which is why he’ll stay here. If you ever see Cooke and his family around town, you get the sense that they all really feel at home in Pittsburgh. If Shero offers him a deal slightly higher than what Cooke makes now, he’d immediately sign on that dotted line.

Feel free to tell me how wrong/awesome I am.

The Two Sides of the 2011 Winter Classic

In case you fell asleep at 6:30 last night and are just now waking up, the 2011 Winter Classic will be between the Pens and the Capitals at Heinz Field. This had been being discussed for some time now, and the decision shouldn’t really come as a surprise. As can be expected, not everyone is going to be happy about this decision, and rightfully so. In order to look at what the Pens v. Caps WC truly means, I will attempt to separate myself into a Penguin fan and a general hockey fan.

Pens Fan Kurt:



The NHL is the smartest league ever. 57,000+ screaming Pens fans? A once in a lifetime experience. I will do terrible, despicable things to get tickets to this game. The thought of watching Crosby v. Ovechkin in a driving snowstorm is so exciting that I may have to change my pants. This is going to be an instant classic, without a doubt the best and most competitive Winter Classic by far. The ratings and attendance will be through the roof. As a hockey fan, how can you not totally be in love with this idea?

To rebut, Hockey fan Kurt:



If I have to see one more nationally televised Pens-Caps game, I will hurl myself off the nearest building. I already have to deal with 3 of the 6 nationally televised games in February/March be the Pens-Caps, why do I have to watch one in January? How can this be the fourth Winter Classic and we’ve yet to see a Canadian team? Hockey fans would watch a Toronto-Montreal WC just the same. It’s unfortunate that the ratings have to define the teams that can play in the Winter Classic. The NHL is just beating the Crosby/Ovechkin rivalry to death.

Truth be told, this is basically how I feel about the 2011 Winter Classic. Of course I want to go, or at least watch it. I think it’s great for the city of Pittsburgh. But I can also see that from the perspective of a hockey fan, it’s tiring to ALWAYS see the Pens v. Capitals. It’s not fair to the other hockey teams, fans and cities that deserve the opportunity to host the Winter Classic. It’s not fair that the Pens have played in two of the four.

All arguments aside though, who can forget this?



Pens for the win.