Neal Before Us. Pens Take a 3-1 Series Lead Home

Since James Neal netted the OT winner, get used to this, because it isn't going away:



More on that later.


Right out of the gate, this game didn't feel like a playoff game at all. You could legitimately hear individual fans during the broadcast. Steiggy and Errey pointed it out about a bajillion times. The Lightning had a bit of a bounce for the first few shifts, but then their world fell apart. Not surprising who the catalyst of that was.


Short side. No room. What a goal. Not sure where we'd be this year without TK.

After Kennedy's goal. Tampa Bay pretty much went home. They were playing with the enthusiasm of a 15 year old doing chores. Pens getting to every loose puck, putting a body on every member of the Lightning. Were it not for some stellar saves by Rolly the Goalie, the game would have been over pretty early. No idea how many shots we had in the first 30 minutes, don't care, it was a ton. The first period ended with the crowd silent and the Pens in control.

Second period was more of the same. Arron Asham and the Fourth Line (who sounds like a band that needs to open up for Huey Lewis and the News) turned in a ridiculous shift, followed by a supremely awkward goal where Asham puts a shot on net, and it apparently hits off somebody's penis, and then goes under Dwayne Roloson and in. Everyone sits back and waits for the Penguins to score 20 more goals at this point.

But that doesn't happen. Pens get chance after chance, but no dice. And then all hell breaks loose. St. Louis makes an amazing play and bashes one past Fleury.



Gotta be honest here. It's hard to dislike this guy. Undrafted, undersized, and a future HOFer. He's the little midget that could. This series would have been over in Game 2 if it weren't for this guy. He makes everyone in Pittsburgh clinch their buttholes when he touches the puck. Hell, I get concerned when St. Louis picks up a puck in practice. What a player.

St. Louis' goal woke up the slumbering crowd and electrified his team. Bad puns everywhere. Nobody was thinking that two goals would win this game, and with a bit over three minutes left, that thought came to fruition. Sean Bergenheim and St. Louis camp out in front of Fleury. Somehow the puck squirts in. That feeling is what it must be like to be a Caps fan. Talbot gets obliterated somewhere in here. He was fine. Let's go to OT.

After a couple of tense moments, OT levels out, and for the most part, the Pens dictate the play. Not surprising, the Lightning are old and upset that they're missing Modern Family on ABC to play extra hockey. Solid show, by the way. Double OT in your face. Petr Sykora buys Domino's pizza for the intermission.

Second OT starts and for some reason, Staal inexplicably dives headfirst into the boards. No clue why, he was having a great game...so much to live for. He ends up being fine. Tough dude. And two minutes later, he factors in on this:



What a moment for Neal. Props to Steiggy and Errey for actually throwing out some good juju for once. Potentially a back-breaking goal for the Lightning.

That being said, you're an idiot if you don't think the Lightning are going to come out flying on Saturday. Can't wait.

Tons of sentence fragments in this post.

End it, Pens.

Pens/Bolts Game 4 Preview and One of the Greatest Hockey Pictures ever

This picture is so good that I don't even feel right posting it. Make the jump over to Puck Daddy, but only after you read this. Best performance that Vince Vaughn has put up since Wedding Crashers.

On to more important things.

In case you needed a reminder of how important game 4 could be:



Turning point in that series. Big time. A lot of people point to Game 3 as the biggest game in most series. I disagree entirely, Game 4 sets a tone. If the Pens win, they've got a chance to clinch it at CEC. If the Pens lose, you have to ride through the winds of momentum. I'd show a stat about how Game 4 winners fare in the series itself, but I'm lazy.

Tonight the Pens will have to face-off without Chris Kunitz, who decided to channel his inner Matt Cooke and stick his elbow in Simon Gagne's ear. Gagne probably said something about his mom. The Lightning will be without Steve Downie, but who cares? Still not sure whether we'll see Eric Tangradi or Mike Comrie in Kunitz's spot. My gut says Comrie, since he's got playoff experience, but I'm an idiot, so whatever.


Some keys to a Pens win:

1. Stay out of the box.

This is as easy as it gets. Martin St. Louis has been lights out on the power play. Why give him the chance?

2. Fourth line creating shit.

Probably the theme of the series so far. When your fourth line outplays their fourth line by a considerable margin, you're going to win a lot of games.

3. Jordan Staal

He's had a good series, but talk about someone who's overdue for a huge goal. We'll see how he holds up without Kunitz in the lineup.

4. The same Fleury we saw in Games 1 and 3.

He knows playoff pressure. Would you want anyone else guarding the cage right now?

5. Power Play.

I'll just say it right now. If we score a power play goal, we'll win. If not, we lose. Take it to the bank.




Wild Card:

James Neal.


He's had exactly one goal since joining the Pens. To say that Neal is snakebitten is the understatement of the millenium. I haven't had blue balls as bad as James Neal since I was 17. Here are some things that have happened in the world since the last time James Neal scored a goal (March 8):

-The U.S. started bombing Libya
-Elizabeth Taylor, Geraldine Ferraro and Nate Dogg all died.
-A 9.0 magnitude earthquake devastated Japan.
-Corey Perry has scored 19 goals (inc. postseason)

Holy crap. Get it done, James Neal.

We believe. Let's go Pens.

Collapse Averted

If you stopped watching last night's Pens-Wings game with a few minutes left in the second period, you probably would have thought the Pens would end up winning 234098-0. The Pens were dominating offensive zone time, while making Mike Babcock and other Red Wings AARP members look like third graders.

Then came the collapse. As a Pens fan, it felt like a Vietnam flashback. For the first ten minutes of the third period, I thought we were playing the Bruins. Our defense ceased to exist. Brent Johnson took a nap for a while. Mike Modano reminded us that he was still playing hockey. All of a sudden, we were thanking our lucky stars that we were walking away with a point.

And then came James Neal and his Crest Whitestrips.


By the way, this has to be my favorite picture of all-time. Pretty sure that's what I looked like after my first beer.

Anywho, Neal roofs one on Ronald MacDonald and everyone goes home happy.


Some notes:


1. Forget about Letang without Crosby and Malkin. Letang isn't anywhere close to the same without Brooks Orpik

In watching Letang over the past three weeks, this is plainly apparent. Orpik's stability and calmness with the puck allows Letang the freedom to do as he pleases with the puck. Tanger is one of the most offensively gifted defensemen in the league, but he seems burdened since Orpik has been out of the lineup. Errant passes, defensive lapses and other issues have grown exponentially without Brooks. Does this team need Crosby back? You bet. But they may need Orpik even more right now.


2. Keep Staal and Kunitz together for the foreseeable future.


Remember, in the not so distant past, in the time after Kunitz was acquired from Anaheim, he and Staal were linemates. Kunitz had a hat trick in his first game with Staal. That chemistry never left.

Frankly, Staal looked lost on the top line with Neal and Kovalev. He looked like he had trouble handling the increased ice time and dealing with the top defensive pairing of the opposition. He needed a change.

Cue the return of Chris Kunitz. Here are Kunitz and Staal's stats since Bylsma put them on the same line (March 8th-6 games)

Kunitz: 4 goals, 4 assists, +5
Staal: 3 goals, 5 assists, +7

That is chemistry that you just don't mess with.


3. Bring on Philly.

Pens Win, Bylsma Signs 3 year Extension; Humble Blogger Claims Responsibility

No more than 24 hours after my blog post explaining why Dan Bylsma should be Coach of the Year, the Penguins brass rewarded him with a three year contract extension. Clearly Shero and Super Mario read my blog. You're welcome.

Oh, and Mario, if you see this, I would love to join you in your luxury box for a game. I'm sure I could find time between my day job and touching myself to come hang out.



The best news to come out of this is that Bylsma can now afford a lot more of these bitchin fedoras.


Bylsma's Pens overcame an awful first period to beat the Sabres 3-1. James Neal and Zbynek Michalek went berserk, each with a goal and an assist. It was great to see this team play exciting hockey again, and Neal was at the forefront, playing huge roles on all three Penguin goals. You get the feeling that last night gave Neal a TON of confidence going forward.

Michalek must have blocked about 8000 shots. I didn't check the box score because I know I'm right.



Horrifying stuff in last night's Bruins-Habs game as Zdeno Chara rode Max Pacioretty into the stachion near the benches. Pacioretty was knocked unconscious, and this morning's reports say that he has a severe concussion and a possible fracture in his neck. Chara is due to have a phone meeting in regards to any possible discipline around noon.

We all wish Pacioretty the best in a speedy recovery.

From Zero to Shero: Ray's New Look Penguins

In the five years since the Penguins unceremoniously broke ties with long time GM Craig Patrick, Ray Shero has become a nearly cult-like figure in Pittsburgh. A quick Google images search will provide photoshops depicting Ray's badass-ness. He's basically become the most trusted figure in the city since Mr. Rogers.


Fred Rogers donning his pimpin' shoes.

Shero's cavalier attitude, coupled with his talent-spotting abilities (which must be a genetic trait) have rocketed him to beloved status. Even the trainwreck that was the Alexei Ponikarovsky acquisition last year, support for Shero hasn't waned.

But it is without question that 2011 will be the most difficult year for Ray-Ray.



The casualty list in Pittsburgh makes All-Star teams look as if they lack depth. The injuries to Crosby and Malkin only begin to scratch the surface. Somehow, behind the clearly superhuman leadership of Dan Bylsma, the Penguins have retained their grip on fourth in the Eastern Conference. The team's resilience has put Shero in an intriguing spot. When you have the second most points in the conference, no matter the injuries, packing up before the playoffs is not an option. So what does Shero do? Trades the most expendable player at the most expendable position on the team for something the Pens have desperately needed since the departure of a player to be mentioned later in this post (it's not Hossa, he can suck it): a talented, goal scoring winger, and clearly the next spokesperson for Crest Whitening Strips, James Neal.


Dude has albino teeth. Crazy.

Not only did Shero address a need by trading a talented defenseman who is prone to mental lapses, he somehow got Dallas to throw in THEIR talented defensemen who is prone to mental lapses, Matt Niskanen. There's nothing funny about him, except that he's from a state within a state (Virginia, Minnesota).

Both Neal and Niskanen will be Pens through 2011-12, and given their young age (23 and 24, respectively), they are decidedly not "rentals". Neal could be the finisher that Crosby has never had, and Niskanen might not suck.

And then yesterday, Shero did what everyone in Pittsburgh wanted him to. He pretty much traded a hockey stick an a Tim Horton's donut for someone the organization is a bit familiar with.



Kova-love.

Terrible Omen of the Millenium: As I was trying to post this video, Safari completely crashed and took me about 20 minutes to fix. Shit.

The scary part of all of Shero's dealing?

We still have days until the deadline. Hold on tight.


Edit: TSN's Darren Dreger just released a report in regards to the possibility of Crosby sitting the remainder of the season. Looking more and more likely.

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/dregerreport