2011: A Cursed Year in Pittsburgh Sports

Call it what you will. 2011 has been an extraordinarily painful time to be a fan in Pittsburgh. Shall we start at the beginning?

It's December of 2010, and we are drunk with happiness. The Penguins hadn't lost a game in a month and the Steelers were unexpectedly rolling towards a playoff berth after a tumultuous offseason. HBO was in town filming 24/7 in preparation for the Winter Classic. It was pretty much sunshine and kittens at that point.

And then the ball dropped.


Go to hell, Times Square.


Jan 1, 2011:

On National Hangover Day, the Penguins played host to the Crapitals at Heinz Field in the Winter Classic. The atmosphere was incredible and the stage was set for a hallowed chapter in Penguins history. Little did we know.





I'm normally not one for drama or superfluous adjectives, but this is a seminal moment in Penguins history. This hit, coupled with Victor Hedman's less vicious shot several days later, left Crosby on the sidelines for the rest of the season. Yes, Crosby has skated with teammates, run through some drills and flashed his omnipresent smile. But the fact remains that since the Hedman hit, nobody has laid a hand on him. The Penguins have been all but mum on Crosby developments. The smart money says Crosby will get healthy and back to normal over this extended summer, but it's not something that's given at this point. Penguins fans may have to face the fact that Crosby may not be the same. Is it likely? No. But it's certainly not impossible.

Oh yeah, the Pens lost the game too.


February 4th, 2011:



In a 3-2 comeback win over Buffalo, the Pens suffered another freak accident when Andre the Giant...I mean, Tyler Myers fell awkwardly on Evgeni Malkin's knee, tearing his ACL. Even then, we really had no idea how long the Penguins would have to go without the services of both Crosby and Malkin. This is the point where the Crosby Watch truly gained steam.


February 6th, 2011:



Watching the Steelers lose Super Bowl XLV was like getting head-butted in the balls by Zinedine Zidane. The Steelers were outplayed and outcoached from the start. Hell, the Packers lost half their secondary in that game and still beat us. Truly, it wasn't as close as the score would indicate. No excuses on this one. Green Bay deserved that win.


February 11th, 2011:



If I were Dan Bylsma, I would have shown the team this video before Game 7. This was nothing but childish retaliation for the Brent Johnson/Rick Dipietro fight the week prior (which is really the best thing to happen sports-wise this year). Just despicable the whole way around. Trevor Gillies turned into a household name, and were it not for Max Talbot's keen eye, Matt Martin would have been just as vilified. This wasn't a hockey game, it was a street fight. Hands down the low of the entire season in the NHL.


March 19, 2011



In one of the most bizarre endings in tournament history, #1 seed Pitt was ousted by #8 Butler. With slightly over two seconds left, and Pitt up 69-68, Butler's Andrew Smith made an easy layup off a great pass from Shawn Vanzant. Game over, right? Wrong. In a completely mindless play, Butler's Shelvin Mack dogged Gilbert Brown around midcourt, eventually fouling Brown with 1.4 seconds left. Butler's fanbase collectively poop themselves. Brown makes the first free throw (after some back and forth chat with Mack), tying the game at 70 all. The next sequence would etch itself into Pitt's ignominious basketball history.

Brown shoots. Off the rim.
Butler's Matt Howard rebounds
Nasir Robinson's left arm.
Howard sinks a free throw to win.

I'm one of the few Pittsburghers who will defend Robinson here. First of all, it's a high pressure situation, and Robinson wants to win the game. He wanted that rebound badly. His crime was one of passion, and while it's staggering, it is defensible. Robinson took the blame after the loss, but it certainly wasn't deserved. Pitt squandered opportunities all game long. Regardless, it stands as one of the most painful losses in the program's history.


April 2011:



This Bolts-Pens series was just so tough to swallow. A week prior to the Game 7 loss, the Pens were flying high after James Neal's Double OT winner to put the Pens up 3-1 in the series. Most thought the Lightning would fold, and the Pens would be 2nd round bound. Not so fast. Tampa's third line (including new enemy Sean Bergenheim) took over the series, and Dwayne Roloson did what he had to do.

The whole thing culminated in one last flurry of action in Game 7s waning seconds. The season died where it was born; the choppy ice of Consol Energy Center, surrounded by a winded but hopeful Pens faithful, anxious for another day.


So where is this all leading? One would ask (and rightfully so) if things could get any worse. That question is always dangerous because the answer will always be yes.

But we're Pittsburgh; we face the present with steely resolve, and the future with cautious optimism.

Because really, could things get any worse?

Game 6. Malkin before Crosby?

Rob Rossi is stirring the pot over at the Trib.

Major league issue with Rossi's article. He tells me not to believe anything that anyone says about Malkin or Crosby, then proceeds to espouse a rumor about Malkin and Crosby. Classic Rossi. Though if he's right about Malkin possibly coming back for the ECF, holy potatoes. I always thought Malkin was tougher than people give him credit for, but possibly coming back this year after Tyler Myers sat on his knee? Tough shit, right there.



(Side note: If you try to run a Google Image search for Rob Rossi, you're going to see penises. You've been warned.)

Pens are down in Tampa for Game 6. If they aren't pissed off, they aren't breathing. The whole state of Florida sucks.



Here are a few things the Pens need to do to win:

1. Get on the board early.

The Pens should come out jumping. Nobody likes to lose 8-2 at home. If they can rattle Roloson early and take all 47 Tampa fans in attendance out of the game, it could be a blowout.


2. Reinvigorate the D

Frankly, I'm hesitant to be critical of the Pens D-men. They're perhaps the biggest reason we're even in this position, and Orpik and Letang played almost 40 minutes in Game 4. But man, they weren't even there on Saturday. Michalek may have had his worst game as a Pen, and Orpik looked winded. The D has to set the tone of this game.


3. Crash the Net

Everyone has made a big screaming deal about how much Dwayne Roloson sucks at handling pucks. So make him do it. If you crash the net on Roloson, one of two things is going to happen: he's either going to give up rebounds that can be easily stuffed home, or he'll corral the puck and force an offensive zone faceoff. Given the Pens depth of good faceoff guys, coupled with defenseman who can shoot from the point, it's a recipe for goals.


4. Rebound game for Fleury.

This is going to happen. I have zero doubt.



Wild Card:

The third line.

Quietly, the line of Chris Conner, Pascal Dupuis and Max Talbot have been pesky and effective. I look for one of these three to come up with a big goal when the time comes.

Let's go Pens.

Dan Bylsma should win Coach of the Millenium

If you disagree, Mr. Bylsma would like to have a word with you.


When Dan Bylsma took over the tenth-place Penguins in 2009 and lead them to a Stanley Cup Championship, fans coined the phrase "Byls-magic" to describe the teams tremendous turnaround.

That was completely retarded. There's nothing particularly "magical" about winning a Stanley Cup when you have players the likes of Crosby, Malkin and Fleury along with supporting cast members like Orpik, Gonchar, Staal, Kunitz, et al. Superstars that play in a system that maximizes their talent usually end up winning a few of these things.

The fact that Bylsma has this Penguin team, who have played long stretches this season without Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Chris Kunitz, Brooks Orpik, Mike Comrie, Arron Asham, Mark Letestu, Eric Godard, etc; two points back of the Flyers for first place in the division and first in the East: THAT'S magical.

One can point to the 1302477093 straight games that the Penguins won in November-December as the main reason for the Penguins being in the position they are now, and it's a pretty decent argument. However, the fact that the Penguins have a winning record without Crosby and Malkin (and were it not for a couple of overtime heartbreaks, that record would be even better) proves that Bylsma's system, as a whole, works. He's got his players believing that they can win no matter who is missing from the lineup. Once Crosby and Malkin went down, this team could have packed up and called it a season, and no one would have blamed them. Hell, a lot of people expected it.

Yet here we are. 260 plus man games lost later (and Crosby's should count double). Not only are we still in the picture, we're fielding a team that others don't want to meet in a seven game series.

Lead by Bylsma, this bunch of fill-ins, cast-offs and nobodies (key cogs like Mark Letestu and Chris Connor weren't even drafted, and 22 defensemen were taken ahead of Norris candidate Kris Letang) have recaptured the hearts of Penguin fans by exemplifying what Pittsburghers pride themselves on: fighting through adversity with guts and determination, only to come out stronger on the other side. Is this Penguin team as fun to watch as they were in November? No. But are they more relatable? No doubt. Who didn't feel an immense satisfaction when Dustin Jeffrey, who has been back and forth from Wilkes-Barre so often this year that Ray Shero has his name on speed dial, smoked the Bruins in overtime? Who didn't throw a Jersey Shore fist-pump when Tyler Kennedy buried the Avalanche with an OT goal of his own?

This team can do damage in the playoffs for one reason: they want it more than other teams. In a season unlike any in recent memory, Coach B has instilled an insatiable hunger in the belly of this team.

And I certainly wouldn't want to be on the menu.

From Zero to Shero: Ray's New Look Penguins

In the five years since the Penguins unceremoniously broke ties with long time GM Craig Patrick, Ray Shero has become a nearly cult-like figure in Pittsburgh. A quick Google images search will provide photoshops depicting Ray's badass-ness. He's basically become the most trusted figure in the city since Mr. Rogers.


Fred Rogers donning his pimpin' shoes.

Shero's cavalier attitude, coupled with his talent-spotting abilities (which must be a genetic trait) have rocketed him to beloved status. Even the trainwreck that was the Alexei Ponikarovsky acquisition last year, support for Shero hasn't waned.

But it is without question that 2011 will be the most difficult year for Ray-Ray.



The casualty list in Pittsburgh makes All-Star teams look as if they lack depth. The injuries to Crosby and Malkin only begin to scratch the surface. Somehow, behind the clearly superhuman leadership of Dan Bylsma, the Penguins have retained their grip on fourth in the Eastern Conference. The team's resilience has put Shero in an intriguing spot. When you have the second most points in the conference, no matter the injuries, packing up before the playoffs is not an option. So what does Shero do? Trades the most expendable player at the most expendable position on the team for something the Pens have desperately needed since the departure of a player to be mentioned later in this post (it's not Hossa, he can suck it): a talented, goal scoring winger, and clearly the next spokesperson for Crest Whitening Strips, James Neal.


Dude has albino teeth. Crazy.

Not only did Shero address a need by trading a talented defenseman who is prone to mental lapses, he somehow got Dallas to throw in THEIR talented defensemen who is prone to mental lapses, Matt Niskanen. There's nothing funny about him, except that he's from a state within a state (Virginia, Minnesota).

Both Neal and Niskanen will be Pens through 2011-12, and given their young age (23 and 24, respectively), they are decidedly not "rentals". Neal could be the finisher that Crosby has never had, and Niskanen might not suck.

And then yesterday, Shero did what everyone in Pittsburgh wanted him to. He pretty much traded a hockey stick an a Tim Horton's donut for someone the organization is a bit familiar with.



Kova-love.

Terrible Omen of the Millenium: As I was trying to post this video, Safari completely crashed and took me about 20 minutes to fix. Shit.

The scary part of all of Shero's dealing?

We still have days until the deadline. Hold on tight.


Edit: TSN's Darren Dreger just released a report in regards to the possibility of Crosby sitting the remainder of the season. Looking more and more likely.

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/dregerreport

The Stars are Falling.

Moving on to the Pens today, whom I’ve done a tremendous job of ignoring. Look for a Steelers season recap sometime this week.

We’ve just about gotten used to watching Pens games without Malkin and Crosby. It’s basically like watching the 2009-10 New Jersey Devils, only less douchier. Somehow, we’ve not only managed to stay afloat, but have navigated these rough seas to a solid January-February record (minus the last two games). However, the Pens undoubtedly face some major problems

Issue #1:



Rumors have been flying around about the status of Crosby. Ask one person and they’ll say that Crosby is seeing stars when he practices, others say he was beaten by baboons outside of Mike Rupp’s Super Bowl party. The line between fact and fiction is opaque at best.

What we do know is this; we likely won’t see Crosby until March, or if Crosby’s injury is as apocalyptic as some are claiming, he’ll be put on season-ending IR prior to the trade deadline (March 1st). In order to have any shot at a deep playoff run, the Penguins need Crosby at 100%. That’s the reason that I don’t fully buy into the severity of these claims. Penguins brass are not stupid. Unless the team were to go into a nuclear tailspin in the next month, it’s smarter to shelf Crosby for the time being.

All that being said, it’s hard to look at what happened to Marc Savard after Matt Cooke’s hit. He’ll never be the same.


Issue #2:

Can the Penguins win the Cup without Evgeni Malkin?



Weird.

Before you point to his numbers for the past two seasons, remember, he’s a Conn Smythe winner. He’s no joke. Even when he’s not at the top of his game, he’s at least taking up one of the opposition’s top defensive pairings. Especially given the improvement in Malkin’s defensive play, his production is nearly impossible to replace.


It’s a scary, yet interesting time to be a Pens fan.


Late News: Matt Cooke suspended 4 games for raping Fedor Tyutin (still the best name in hockey). Should be fun to see what kind of depleted lineup we can field tomorrow night against the Kings. No word on whether or not Cooke will get an extra two games for bitchslapping Tyutin with his Stanley Cup Ring.



Bah.

One of the Most Frustrating Playoff Series ever- Habs win to force Game 7

You could smell it after Letang's goal in the second. You felt as if the Pens could just get that elusive two-goal lead, the series would be completely in hand. No dice on that one. Utter frustration. The rest is history.

Entirely unnecessary recap:

First period was about what you would expect. You knew the Habs would come out on fire, and that they did. As seems to have been a theme in this series, Habs get a quick first goal by Cammalleri. More on that douche later. After the first goal, the play levels out until the Pens get out on the PP. It was just bound to happen. Crosby with a line drive that gets through Halak. Then came one of the more bizarre plays of the playoffs. Traffic around Halak, a Hab plays the puck into Halak, who barely even attempts to corral it, the puck squirts out to a waiting Geno Malkin who buries it top shelf.

But wait, some jackass blows a whistle because he lost sight of his balls.



That jackass was referee Marc Joanette, who hails from Verdun, Quebec. And Verdun happens to be a borough of?...Montreal. Just saying.

After you remove your splattered brains from your living room furniture, the period ends in a 1-1 tie.

For the most part, Pens fans will want to forget the second period ever happened. Letang rings one up on Halak a few minutes in, and the Pens are molesting Halak and all of his immediate family members for the first half of the period.

Then the walls caved in. As has been the case so often this series, the opportunistic Habs charge in on a 3 on 2, Talbot loses Cammalleri, who just unleashes a nasty backhand to beat Fleury far side. Series would be so over without that guy. The Habs come fast and furious, and bam, Spacek, who's been out all series with the clap, puts one by Fleury



Don't jump yet.

Second period mercifully ends, Habs get some crappy penalty that carries over.

Pens come out in the third with a successful kill. Doesn't matter, It just never shifted the momentum. Pens get a few opportunities, but never bury one. Maxim La-painintheass has an orgy out front and uncomfortably inserts one past Fleury. Barf City.

Time winds down, Pens pull Fleury. Gonch unleashes a shot from the point and Guerin does some ridiculous pirouette in front to knock it past Halak. Hope springs eternal.

Wait, did I say hope springs eternal? Well it doesn't. Pens lose.

If you think the series is over, you've never watched playoff hockey. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Go Pens.