Captain Obvious? Part 3- Northeast Division

The Northeast Division sucks. I can always count on them for awful, boring hockey. I forgot Ottawa even had a team. Oh well, here goes:


Boston Bruins:



Captain: Zdeno Chara
Player who should be Captain: Zdeno Chara

I may hate Chara, but he's about the only choice. Recchi? Meh, no thanks. I think Chara is overrated, big and clumsy. He's got a great shot and is a good puck mover, but beyond that, I don't see anything particularly masterful about his game. He may not be a "repeat offender", but Chara has a history of some unpunished nasty play (see: the Max Pacioretty incident). Hopefully he doesn't get his ring this year.


Montreal Canadiens:



Captain: Brian Gionta
Player who should be Captain: Brian Gionta

Brian Gionta is an easy choice. He's what a Captain should be: a pain in the ass. Every team that plays against him knows it. He always manages to score the big goal, and is a true warrior. Like Marty St. Louis, Gionta uses his small stature to his advantage, creating leverage that lets him deliver some big hits. He's a consistent 20-plus goal guy (the year after the lockout, he had almost 50 goals, don't know where the hell that came from). I would have to believe there are a lot of teams in the NHL who would love Gionta as a captain.


Buffalo Sabres:



Captain: Nobody.
Player who should be Captain: Jason Pominville

This is tough. I dislike Buffalo, but they're a team full of captain-esque players. Pominville, to me, stands out. After Ryan Miller, Pominville is the first Sabre I think about (sorry, Thomas Vanek). He's another gritty guy who isn't afraid to trade some paint (thought I'd throw in a NASCAR term for the 2 people who read my blog wondering why I never talk about racing). Here's my process: When I think about who should be the Captain of a team, I think about what person I would want the Pens to have, and in this case, it's Jason Pominville.


Ottawa Senators:


Captain: Daniel Alfredsson
Player who should be Captain: Nobody.

They don't deserve a captain. Here's their current one:



I'm not begrudging Alfredsson's talent, he's a great player. But in the same realm as French soccer legend Zinedine Zidane, when I think about Alfredsson, I don't think about his ability, I think of this play. Mind the situation, a 2-2 tie in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals. I don't care what he says, this is intentional. If you watch the video, you'll bear witness to the only time I've ever agreed with Pierre McGuire. He eyes up Niedermayer, ADJUSTS HIS BODY, and fires the puck. It was captain-vs.-captain, and it showed me everything I know about who was the superior player and person in that situation. What a jerk.


Toronto Maple Leafs:



Captain: Dion Phaneuf
Player who should be Captain: Nobody, every Maple Leafs fan should wear a "C"

Seriously, being a Maple Leaf fan for the last 20 years sucks. The fact that they sell out every game is a testament to the fans in Toronto.

Jaroslav Halak Traded to St. Louis Blues

I don't normally update for this type of thing, but it seemed to come out of the woodwork.

Per TSN's Bob McKenzie, the Montreal Canadiens have traded the brick wall of a goaltender that beat the Penguins, Jaroslav Halak, to the St. Louis Blues for compensation yet to be determined. It's not a total surprise that Halak was traded, but the news popped out of nowhere.

Montreal Candiens fans should start rioting....NOW!

Edit: The players heading to Montreal are C Lars Eller and winger Ian Schultz. SHOCKED that St. Louis didn't even have to give up a roster player for Halak. Eller was the 13th pick in 2007, while Ian Schultz is a Matt Cooke type. What a deal for St. Louis.

A Walk to Remember. Game 7, Pens v. Habs

Best of luck to all who attempt to concentrate on work/school/unemployment today. It will probably be a futile effort.

Not many people expected the series to get this far. The Habs deserve a tremendous amount of credit. On paper it should have been a 4 or 5 game series, then again, so should have been their series with Washington. But nonetheless, we’re here today.

Putting personal biases aside, it’s a beautiful thing, one that will always be remembered regardless of the outcome. We’re fans because we crave memories. They bond us all, through commiseration or celebration. We don’t all know each other on a personal level, but it gives us something very tangible to hold on to. You may not know the person walking down the street next to you, but could talk for an hour about Darius Kasparaitis’ goal to beat Buffalo, or Fleury’s last second save against Detroit. Somewhere in there lies the greatest gift of sport, to unify us all in a common love.

Tonight will be another one of those moments. Be thankful for it.

I make no predictions as to what will happen. I don’t know if we’ll see Fedotenko or McKee, and I can’t say that I care. Given the ebb and flow of this series, the only thing that has proved predictable is its unpredictability. Let’s just leave it all on the ice.

You will surely have something to talk about with the stranger next to you tomorrow.

Let’s go Pens.

One of the Most Frustrating Playoff Series ever- Habs win to force Game 7

You could smell it after Letang's goal in the second. You felt as if the Pens could just get that elusive two-goal lead, the series would be completely in hand. No dice on that one. Utter frustration. The rest is history.

Entirely unnecessary recap:

First period was about what you would expect. You knew the Habs would come out on fire, and that they did. As seems to have been a theme in this series, Habs get a quick first goal by Cammalleri. More on that douche later. After the first goal, the play levels out until the Pens get out on the PP. It was just bound to happen. Crosby with a line drive that gets through Halak. Then came one of the more bizarre plays of the playoffs. Traffic around Halak, a Hab plays the puck into Halak, who barely even attempts to corral it, the puck squirts out to a waiting Geno Malkin who buries it top shelf.

But wait, some jackass blows a whistle because he lost sight of his balls.



That jackass was referee Marc Joanette, who hails from Verdun, Quebec. And Verdun happens to be a borough of?...Montreal. Just saying.

After you remove your splattered brains from your living room furniture, the period ends in a 1-1 tie.

For the most part, Pens fans will want to forget the second period ever happened. Letang rings one up on Halak a few minutes in, and the Pens are molesting Halak and all of his immediate family members for the first half of the period.

Then the walls caved in. As has been the case so often this series, the opportunistic Habs charge in on a 3 on 2, Talbot loses Cammalleri, who just unleashes a nasty backhand to beat Fleury far side. Series would be so over without that guy. The Habs come fast and furious, and bam, Spacek, who's been out all series with the clap, puts one by Fleury



Don't jump yet.

Second period mercifully ends, Habs get some crappy penalty that carries over.

Pens come out in the third with a successful kill. Doesn't matter, It just never shifted the momentum. Pens get a few opportunities, but never bury one. Maxim La-painintheass has an orgy out front and uncomfortably inserts one past Fleury. Barf City.

Time winds down, Pens pull Fleury. Gonch unleashes a shot from the point and Guerin does some ridiculous pirouette in front to knock it past Halak. Hope springs eternal.

Wait, did I say hope springs eternal? Well it doesn't. Pens lose.

If you think the series is over, you've never watched playoff hockey. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Go Pens.

Put the Nail in the Coffin- Pens/Habs- Game 6 Preview

Does anyone else get the feeling we could be in for an unbelievable game tonight?

The stage is set, actors are ready for their cue.

Nobody really wants this series to come back to Pittsburgh, the Pens have some banged-up bodies that could use a couple of days rest. That's the advantage of having a veteran team, knowing exactly what you need to do in order to survive in the playoffs.

Speaking of banged-up bodies, Montreal is starting to have some serious defensive issues. Hal Gill was cut by Chris Kunitz's skate Saturday night, and he will be a game-time decision. Jaroslav Spacek, who apparently has been out with an STD given to him by one of the Kostitsyn brothers, is also a game-time decision.



And astonishingly enough, defenseman Andrei Markov, who tore his ACL earlier in the series, skated yesterday, and there is rampant speculation that he may play tonight or if there is a game 7. I love hockey.

For the Penguins, the lineup should look similar to game 5. Bylsma has no reason to pull Ponikarovsky or Fedotenko off the bench. Especially with Mark Letestu playing as if the fate of his Canadian province depended on it.



Letestu channeling his inner Billy Guerin.



Alright, let's end it with a random prediction that will likely go horribly wrong:

Tonight's game winning goal will be scored by none other than Montreal's own Max Talbot




Let's go Pens.