Captain Obvious? Part 1 of a 6 Part Epic

Captain Obvious is a six part blog epic exploring all NHL captains, who deserves to be there, and who doesn't. Frankly, this is a result of my frustration towards the Pirates not scoring runs and my general disdain for Mike Richards. Since this is a Pittsburgh Blog, part 1 will focus on the Atlantic Division.


1. Pittsburgh Penguins



Captain: Sidney Crosby
Player who should be Captain: Sidney Crosby

This is pretty much a no-brainer. He's the best player in the NHL, and sets an example for the team on and off the ice. It was plainly apparent how much Crosby was missed during the stretch run of this past season. He's a guy who is able to elevate the game of everyone who laces up the skates with him. He's an all-world talent that has the mentality of a player who is just trying to make the squad. I could say more about him, but anything beyond this would be redundant and insulting to a Pens fan. Get better, Sid.


2. Philadelphia Flyers



Captain: Mike Richards
Player who should be Captain: Kimmo Timonen

Trying to choose what Flyer should be Captain is like choosing what gun you want to be shot in the face with. No matter what, it sucks. Richards has become just like every other Flyer, dirty plays that don't get called, and mouthing off to the media. Next thing you know, he'll be banging Scott Hartnell's wife. As for Timonen, at this point in his career, he's deserving of a captaincy. He's been a stalwart on Philly's defensive front for a few years now, and has displayed a Brooks Orpik-like calm and cool on the ice. As is usually the case with Finnish players, Timonen is a classy guy, and seems like a great locker room personality as well. Timonen is without a doubt the least of all evils.


3. New Jersey Devils



Captain: Nobody
Player who should be Captain: Patrick Elias

Beyond Marty Brodeur, no Devil is more recognizable than Patrick Elias. He's been a Devil since before I had pubes. Though he's 35, his productivity has shown no signs of slowing. Since the Captainship was vacated by the Jamie Langenbrunner trade this past year, Elias seems to me to be the logical choice.


4. New York Rangers



Captain: Chris Drury
Player who should be Captain: Chris Drury

It's pretty hard to argue against Drury. The only player in league history to win both the Hobey Baker and the Calder Trophies, a three-time Olympian, and one of the few players in the leauge who have captained multiple teams. Drury hasn't always put up huge numbers throughout his career, but he's a tough, gritty player who will do whatever it takes to win. Once Drury retires, however, the Captain position should be assumed by Ryan Callahan. I still think the Rangers may have beaten the Caps if Callahan were healthy, but he was too busy laying his life down in front of a Zdeno Chara slapshot to try to get the Rangers into the playoffs. What a human.


5. New York Islanders



Captain: Doug Weight (kind of)
Player who should be Captain: Mark Streit

Weight would be my Captain choice, but since he retired, that sort of takes him out of the running. Truly, the only logical choice behind him is D-man Mark Streit. Injured for most of this season, Pens fans know about Streit because he's really the only Islander we give a shit about. He's Swiss, which is awesome (also captains the Swiss National team), he can actually play defenseman or forward, a rarity in the NHL. The Islanders clearly missed his leadership this season, as they made a habit of going bat shit crazy during games.

Plus I'm not sure they could give the Captain tag to Trevor Gilles. Woof.


Part 2 coming soon.

Will the NHL ever have the balls to suspend Mike Richards? Apparently not.

Throughout the whole "Head Shot" chaos in the NHL, the poster boy for the problem has been Penguins winger Matt Cooke. And deservedly so. Cooke's reckless play has jeopardized the health of other players, and needs to be curtailed. This is not an article in defense of Matt Cooke.



But I'm beginning to wonder why Philadelphia Flyers Captain Mike Richards isn't receiving the same treatment.

To adequately understand the scope of the comparison, we need to go back to the 2009-10 season.

October 2009:



This is the hit that truly galvanizes the head shot movement. Florida Panther winger David Booth skates towards the middle of the ice, when he collides with a streaking Mike Richards, who forearms him in the head/neck area. Booth never sees him coming and has no way to protect himself. He was knocked out before he ever hit the ice. Richards faced no suspension or discipline at all.


Fast-forward to March of 2010, later that season:



If Richard's hit was the one that truly started the head shot movement, Cooke's hit was the one that fast-tracked it. Again, Boston Bruin Marc Savard comes into the zone at center ice and attempts to throw a shot towards the net. Cooke comes across and decks Savard in the head in a very similar manner to how Booth was hit. Savard never stood a chance, and he too, was unconscious before he went to the ice. The only difference between this hit and the Booth hit is that Cooke was coming at Savard from behind (Savard is a lefty, Booth is a righty). However, it becomes a non-issue because both Booth's and Savard's heads were in very similar positions. Like Richards, Cooke faced no discipline for this hit.

The biggest difference between the two hits is, and I'm convinced that this is why Cooke is the poster child and not Richards, is that David Booth is fine. He's back to playing hockey at a high level. Savard is not. He attempted a comeback this season, but is a very different player, and given his age, may never play again. If the shoe was on the other foot, and it was Booth that had his career ended, the hockey world would look very different right now.


On to other instances:

February 2011: Matt Cooke boards Fedor Tyutin, gets 4 game suspension.



Stupid play all around. Tyutin looks back towards Cooke as he goes into the corner to retrieve the puck. Cooke then hits Tyutin from behind and up high, sending him into the boards. Tyutin ends up being fine, but that certainly doesn't take away from the fact that this is the type of hit that shouldn't happen. Most people end up agreeing with the four game suspension except Jeremy Roenick, who cries for a while on TV.


One month later, March 2011: Matt Cooke elbows Ryan McDonagh, gets a 10 game suspension + first round of the playoffs.



Zero excuse for this hit. Was it the most vicious elbow ever? No. But Matt Cooke knows his reputation, and needed to be a lot smarter than this. He clearly raises his elbow to hit McDonagh in the head. Like Tyutin, McDonagh is fine, but it's almost beside the point. Cooke gets a hefty penalty, now up to 16 games, including 6 playoff games thus far. Most people thought this would be the straw that broke the camels back. A hefty penalty, and a very deserved one.


Now the story turns back to Mike Richards, and this current playoff series with the Buffalo Sabres.

Game 4: Richards' elbow to Patrick Kaleta



This is pretty much as blatant as the McDonagh hit. Richards is digging for a puck along the boards, Kaleta comes in for a hit, and Richards throws his elbow up in Kaleta's face. Just as cowardly as Cooke's elbow. Richards gets a five-minute elbowing major for this hit, but faces no additional discipline.

Game 6: Richards' boarding of Tim Connolly



Yesterday, Richards unleashed the latest of his questionable hits, basically grabbing Sabres center Tim Connolly's nameplate and driving him into the boards. Connolly hits the boards with the crown of his helmet and falls to the ice. According to Sabres coach Lindy Ruff, Connolly is "not doing very good", and almost certainly won't play in Game 7. The NHL again did not hand out any discipline to Richards.


If you were trying to keep score, allow me to help. Matt Cooke and Mike Richards make three similar hits, and the suspensions go as follows:

Matt Cooke: 20/21 games, including 6/7 playoff games.
Mike Richards: 0 games

Now, when making this comparison, I'm obliged to recognize the fact that Cooke was also suspended for two games in November of 2009 after a hit to Rangers forward Artem Anisimov.

But it still begs the question, why does Richards continue to get off scot-free while Matt Cooke has been villefied? Is it because Richards isn't a repeat offender? Well of course he isn't! How can someone be a repeat offender if his dirty play is never punished? The NHL continues to hide behind the "repeat offender" cloak, in hopes that everyone forgets it and nobody asks too many difficult questions. I'm not saying that Richards should get suspended for double-digit games, but the NHL at least needs to acknowledge that this is a problem with him.

Until then, we'll just have to wait for his next victim.

Game of the Year

When you don't play your rival for 3 months, it's easy to forget how much you hate them. That's how I felt going into last week's Pens-Flyers matchup. It took about 0.2 seconds for me to remember the depth of my loathing for the Philadelphia Flyers. In my hate scale, the Flyers rank somewhere between ex-girlfriends and Glenn Beck.



It's a scary thing when a former drug addicted alcoholic high-school grad is one of the most powerful men in America. He'd probably say hockey is a tool of the Communists used to put Marxist thought into the minds of the impressionable masses.

Anyway, I digress.

The Flyers will likely be without defenseman Chris Pronger. But Pronger is overrated anyways, so who gives a crap. Side note: I once had a Flyers fan try to argue that Chris Pronger was as good a defenseman as Nicklas Lidstrom. No joke.

Rumors are abound that Crosby is close to making a return to practice. I'm not sure we even need him to be a contender. Though it definitely wouldn't hurt.

There was one thing that I wanted to address. The Marc-Andre Fleury for MVP talk.



I should preface this by saying that I absolutely love Fleury. There's no one else that I'd rather have manning the net for my beloved Pens. His puck handling and rebound control have improved by leaps and bounds this year. And anyone who says that he's not a clutch goalie must not watch Pens games. There is no doubt that he's the team MVP this year (which he was voted as by the team).

But should he win the Hart? Probably not.

First off, the last goalie to win the Hart was Jose Theodore in 01-02. Theodore lead the league in save percentage that year, and was fourth in goals against average. Fleury doesn't rank in the top 5 in either of those categories (8th and 11th, respectively). In the entire history of the award, it has only been won by a goaltender 7 times, and only three times since 1962. So in essence, in order to win the Hart as a goaltender, you have to be SIGNIFICANTLY better than any other netminder in the league. This year, one could easily make a legitimate case for Roberto Luongo, Tim Thomas, Pekka Rinne and Henrik Lundqvist (who has nearly four times as many shutouts as Fleury) for MVP as well.

Like I've said, I'm not discounting Fleury's importance to this team. Without him, we're probably struggling for a playoff spot. But if you take guys like Luongo and Lundqvist off their teams, they're in the same position as well. To me, this season has firmly entrenched Fleury as an elite NHL goaltender. But hopes of a Hart are probably unrealistic.

But I must say, if by some infinitesimal chance, Fleury does win; I will gladly eat my words.

He should at least get save of the year for this. Pretty much took whatever was left of Mike Green's manhood (riding a Vespa and having a flower tattoo eliminates 85% of his man cards) on this stop. Awesome stuff. Gotta love Green's reaction. It looks like he got shot.



Let's go Pens.

Your Daily Sports Breakfast Buffet: the Return of Pig Ben, Benedict Hossa

For the first time since Goodell’s suspension, Ben Roethlisberger will rejoin his teammates at the South Side complex for OTA’s today. What will be interesting is whether or not Ben will talk to the media. He has been very silent since Goodell’s suspension, even asking Coach Tomlin to take over his football camp for children. Clearly, Ben has been very careful to stay out of the public eye, lying as low as humanly possible. Perhaps he has finally been humbled, perhaps he’s just trying to save his ass. Only Ben knows that at this point. This story has still got a long way to go.

Most Pens fans rejoiced as Chicago took a 2-0 series lead over Philadelphia, beating the Flyers 2-1. Given the ridiculous action of Game One, the puck must have looked like a deep-dish pizza to goalies Antti Niemi and Michael Leighton in Game 2. Last night was a “hockey purist” game, with few mistakes, good physical play and some solid goaltending. The scary part about all of this for the Flyers? They’re down 2-0 with nary a peep from Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews. If those two get hot, this series could be over very quickly.


Hossa Watch: 1 Goal, 0 Assists- still a tool.



The Pirates awoke from their week-long slumber to come back and beat the Chicago Cubs 2-1. Before Sunday’s game, GM Neal Huntington attempted to quell the rumors that a youthful infusion was on the way this month. He was quoted as saying pitcher Brad Lincoln was still “a ways away” from being called up. He also stated that Jose Tabata and Pedro Alvarez had work remaining in Indianapolis. However, for unknown reasons, Jose Tabata was not in the lineup for Indianapolis yesterday. Maybe he’s on a plane to Pittsburgh? We’ll find out soon enough.

The Pirates will play the Cubs at 7:05 tonight at PNC Park. Tonight marks the return of Jeff Karstens to the rotation. Does anyone know why on God’s green Earth Ryan Doumit continues to hit 6th? Here, John Russell, if you’re reading this, this should be your lineup tonight:

1. Andrew McCutchen
2. Neil Walker
3. Ryan Doumit
4. Garrett Jones
5. Delwyn Young (screw Ryan Church)
6. Andy LaRoche
7. Jeff Clement
8. Ronny Cedeno
9. Jeff Karstens

See? It’s easy!



Why are the hockey and football seasons so far away?

Nothing going on, but updating anyways.

For Pittsburgh sports, it’s a quiet Memorial Day weekend.

The Pirates lost their 387th straight game. The kids will be called up in a couple of days, should be a lot of fun to watch them.

The Blackhawks beat the Flyers in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals. The inexperience and nerves of both young goalies were on display, as a total of 11 goals were allowed. If Game 1 were to be an indicator for the rest of the series, it’s going to be a damn entertaining one.

Unfortunately, continuing with sports news on the other side of the state, Phillies star Roy Halladay hurled a perfect game yesterday against the Florida Marlins. Perhaps even more amazingly, yesterday marked Halladay’s FIFTH complete game of the year. Oh, and by the way, it was just his 11th start of the year. Unreal. To put that into even more perspective, in 2010, Halladay now has pitched more complete games than any pitcher did in 2009, with the lone exceptions being Zach Grienke (6) and Halladay himself (9).

In other baseball news, Angels star Kendry Morales shows how quickly one can go from winning to losing.



Hope you get better soon, Kendry.

Nightmare Stanley Cup Final, Pirates do Nothing to Ease the Pain

Nights like last night make you wish you would have just stayed at the office.

We’ve got about the worst Stanley Cup (from a Pittsburgh perspective) that we could have asked for. The Flyers finished off the Habs last night, beating them 4-2. The Flyers just have that look. They’re getting hot at the right time, and at this point, it’s probably more about momentum than talent. And who do our most hated rivals play? One of our most hated former Penguins, Marian Hossa. To be fair, we all know how fun it can be to watch Hossa play, the guy is a Datsyuk-like defensive forward. But he still sucks.



So as Pens fans, our choices are to root for Chicago and Marian Hossa or the Flyers. Pens fans wouldn’t root for the Flyers if they were playing the Taliban. Honestly, the choice is easy. Though nobody wants to see Marian Hossa lift the Cup, nobody wants to see 26 Philadelphia Flyers lift it either. So we become Blackhawks fans this week, which in perspective, is not difficult to do. They’ve got a great core group that is a lot of fun to watch (Kane, Toews, Byfuglien, Keith, etc). If nothing else, it should at least be an entertaining Stanley Cup Final.

Alright, so one game last night didn’t go our way, that’s alright, we’ve still got the Pirates. Sweet Jesus, did I just write that sentence?

The Buccos jumped out to a 2-0 lead on a Ronny Cedeno home run, and Brian Burres was looking to be in control. Then, in the fourth, he decides to do his best Ryan Vogelsong impression; walk out to the mound, drop his drawers and just take a giant dump.



The look of utter defiance on his face makes it one of the greatest images ever.


Karstens comes in during the fourth to add his own creation to Burres’ pile.

The rest of the game consisted of the Pirates blue-balling their fans into thinking they could come back. False. Pittsburgh fans try to find something less painful to watch on tv, like The Hills.



Some notes:

-Delwyn Young was the best Pirate last night. He’s never really gotten consistent enough playing time to gain a lot of confidence, but the past two years, he’s shown flashes of brilliance.

-Aki Iwamura needs to be traded/deported. Don’t care which.

-Pirates are always going to have trouble winning a game when McCutchen and Garrett Jones combine to be 1 for 9.

-Should the Pirates trade Ryan Doumit? In a later post, I’ll tell you why it may not be the craziest thing.

-Bring on Pedro Alvarez.