Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Captain Obvious? Western Conference Shit

I've been hearing about this league called the "Western Conference". Apparently they play hockey just like the East, except three hours later. Not sure who could stay up for that.

Central Division:

Detroit Red Wings:

Captain: Nicklas Lidstrom
Player who should be Captain: Nicklas Lidstrom forever.

If you're wondering who Nick Lidstrom is, get off my blog. The dude is a Captain among Captains. Would he have steered the Titanic into an iceberg? No. He'd have broken the iceberg with a wrist shot.

Nashville Predators:

Captain: Shea Weber
Player who should be Captain: Shea Weber

Don't care if it wasn't for Nashville, if you shoot the puck through the net, you own the ice. Period.

Chicago Blackhawks:

Captain: Jonathan Toews
Player who should be Captain: Patrick Sharp

I'm a sucker for players like Patrick Sharp. He's not as talented as Toews (though he's no slouch, as his 34 goals last year will attest), but he's far more mature and has a great presence on the ice. He can play the tough minutes and is willing to mix it up with anybody. Sharp is a free agent after this season, and if the Blackhawks let him go, then they're idiots.

(Aside: I bet there are at least 45 "Sharp-Dressed Man" jokes in that article.)

St. Louis Blues:

Captain: None.
Player who should be Captain: David Backes

Backes is a true pain-in-the-ass. Which is pretty much a necessity if you're going to be a decent captain. For a forward, he's a fairly menacing force at 6-3, 230 lbs. The kind of guy who stands in front of the net, pistol-whips the goalie and puts the puck home. With a youthful pool of talent growing around him, Backes is the logical choice to lead the Blues in this tough division.

Columbus Blue Jackets:

Captain: Rick Nash
Player who should be Captain: Dear God, somebody get Rick Nash out of Columbus

Seriously, the dude is wasted there. They don't have anyone around him, aside from Plum native R.J. Umberger, pictured below:

Only 5 percent of my readers will get that joke. Oooh, RJ!

I'm being real though. Somebody needs to go to Columbus and save Rick Nash.

No comments:

Post a Comment